It’s a rarity these days for there to be just the three of us…
It’s how things were most of the time in Germany; it’s what we were used to because of deployment and training schedules… just me and them. I miss those days sometimes.
It’s hard to let other people in, it’s hard to let other people care for the boys, it’s hard to let someone else hold some of their moments.

So we drove to the beach, just the three of us. We paid too much for a hotel room with a gorgeous view, and we soaked up the sun.
I waded out into waist deep water (and if you know me well, you know this is not a thing I do) and these boys of mine turned into fish right before my eyes.
I sat on the shore and watched them bob up and down in their life jackets, early enough to still have coffee in my hand.

We stood in the souvenir shop for far too long, debating over the perfect airbrushed shirts.

It felt good to be just us, to get away and enjoy each other. I marveled at how much we’ve grown in the time since Germany and the divorce.

And then they wanted to ride go-karts- but they’re not tall enough to ride by themselves… and my heart sank, because it’s just the three of us.


  1. Randi My Love,

    I’m in such a state, this made me cry for all sorts of reasons. The last time I was in the place, you called me, many years ago, from Germany.

    I follow your blogs and ache for an ounce of your strength. Even if you don’t feel strong, strength radiates out of you. You are growing.

    I am not.

    Keep posting. Keep leading. Keep being an example.

    I love you, sweet girl.

    1. XOXO, Barbie.
      I’m sending prayers and love.
      Keep going, keep loving those boys of yours.
      We’ll make it to the other side.

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